..darkness.. (..some journal extract.. couple days a go..)

..This is far from being a success full production.. I really had another perspective from November’s 2012.. fuck this.. I’m to distracted.. to hateful.. to revolted.. and to pissed off to work on anything properly.. I wont do this again.. these conditions aren’t what I aspect to be an Harmony of production ambient..

.. It don’t remain much.. I can’t anymore.. I need a break and reconstruction of my plans.. I want peace.. calm.. I want to dedicate myself to this.. but so much coming against me.. I will not hold this for long.. my question remains for how long can I support this situation.. unstable..

.. I need concentration.. I can’t get 1 single minute..

.. I wonder how I still Hold this for the moment..

.. there is nothing coming out more of me.. can’t find my peace.. can’t find me anymore.. can’t see clear.. to much fog.. to much distraction.. to much sensitive.. to everything around me..

.. my conditions are really chaotic.. the only thing remaining is a hope.. a conviction.. keeping me a life like a candle in a windy night..

.. I have fight many battles in my life.. the path as been long and difficult.. the more I progress the harder it gets.. the better it feels.. the stronger I get.

..some Elements around you causing the factor of failure.. a feeling of darkness.. a moment where everything disappear from your vision.. closing my eyes and trying to understand.. desperately looking for an answer.. a solution to.. just do another step in the unknown field.. meticulously as to be a decision in a such crucial moment.. then my next step can make it all fall.. then the perspective change on that factor by the number of opportunities in that gap.. between the step and the decision..

.. I convert this state of mind.. something like.. Opposite converter.. where that allow us to see the positivity in the negativity.. all bullshit because.. without that factor there is no Opportunity.. but.. let me believe that life as to be like this to step forward.. the matter is the risk on the relative step.. the prestige of success..

.. while the “intensity” amplifies this situation.. the more the “how” becomes crucial.. where the faith just witness “why..” - Nelson Branco 2012

..quite expensive way to pay life rights.. but..

..note: this article have been cut.. to fit in standards and protect artist's life.. please see full edition here..

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